HAMMMMMBUUURGGG

Well, I waited for Saturday so long and it was a blaaaaaaaaaaaaaast!!! I met up Mariana, she's an amazing girl from Costa Rica, she can speak English so fluently and she was so friendly! We didn't have any awkward silence moments or anything...At St.Paulis metro station we met Ria, a girl from Ireland. Then we waited for Bron, she's from New Zealand! So, when we met her, then we went to the Hamburger DOM. It had a lot of cool lights and stuff, but the attractions weren't so interesting...but still better than Tivoli in Estonia...DOM had more life in it and it just seemed more organized. After DOM we were just walking around and started talking with four guys. One of the girls asked what are they planning to do next and one of the guys said they are going to a gay bar. And boy, was I happy!!! :D I shouted YESS YESS!! My reaction made them all laugh! And yeah, it turned out they were all gay and two of them were married to each other!! The bar was a bit boring but I had great time with the guys and gals! Later we went to a kiosk and bought some alcohol and Ria stole a Milka chocolate :'D We said goodbye to the guys and headed to Reeperbahn. I didn't have no idea where the fuck are we or what, I just followed the girls :D Reeperbahn had like lot of pubs...but we went only to two of them. Or three...black people are scary, they came up to me, started kissin' and hugging, I was like NO. We went to a Latino bar and God, it was crowded......:D Anyways...I am not pretty sure what happened inbetween, I wasn't that drunk (I think! haha) but some things are a bit blurry. We were just standing on the streets and stuff and the next moment some guy was holding my hand, I didn't even know where we met or what was his name...We were at Reeperbahn streets and the next moment we were at a metro station! Weird, don't remember the between......The time flew and when I finally checked the time it was like 5am! Of course the guy drove with me and of course we ended in a town I haven't been before...I kept telling him I have to go home and finally I took the right subway to Ahrensburg :D I didn't understand the timetables at the stations at all, so everyone told me where I have to go and which subway I have to take...and I walked home barefoot because my shoes hurted my toes. I walked home barefoot and I didn't give aaaaaaa shit. I arrived home half seven in the morning...and I slept for 2-3hours...I am kinda dead right now...Also, when I switched my German phone on, the guy had sent me a text message :) It was sweet but at the same time a bit creepy...:D But over all - the party night was AWESOMEEE!!!

Finally I took some pictures, too.

 

KISSES x

Dreams

Yesterday I went to bed already 08.30pm...I was sooo tired, although I hadn't done anything the whole day. In my dream I was in a school which is located in Kuressaare, Saarema. I walked around the school, wearing high-heels, when suddenly I passed a classroom where I saw my best friend. The class was full of my acquaintances. There was even one girl, who actually lives in Finland for years. They were all sitting and waiting, on their desks were tests. They all tried to get in to that school. I was so confused and sad. Confused because all my friends had already ended their high-school and therefore I didn't understand why are they taking a test to get into 10th grade. And I was sad because when I was in the ninth grade, I  wanted to move to Saaremaa and start studying there. Now they were all taking tests and I didn't had a clue about it. 

Then I woke up several times in the night...and had some other short dreams...

In one of them, I was sleeping in the same bed with my grandmother. She threw her arm on me and whispered "Emma". Then I woke up and realized  that I am alone in my bed and no ones arm is on me. Ugh.

Today I woke up early again...we have a lot guests coming and going, so the kids are playing and doing their own things....then there's me...sitting in my room and doing no fucking thing. Still waiting for my money and I am getting a bit nervous because if I don't have the money on my account by tomorrow morning then all my plans are cancelled :c Niu.

Soon the guests and family go to Lübeck and I have to stay home with the little one...#fun

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:)

Yesterday before falling asleep, I had this long and angry monologue in my head, what I wanted to write here. But then I calmed myself down and relaxed. I will not react to negative comments or people. I am glad I'm not there, I don't have to see those two-faced people :) I mean, why do you need to talk about me when I am not around, I barely communicate with Estonian people and I am happily living my own life in Germany? To be honest, I think I don't even want to know. I will drop this subject now.

Today is Thursday! Two more days and then I will discover Hamburgs nightlife! I am soooooo excited + I can finally order myself new REAL HAIR (and long!!) extensions  * . *

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The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them

I woke up 8am today and when I opened my laptop, I had an "amusing" message in my Facebook! :) The whole morning I was emotionless and a bit sad deep inside. Okay and I tried to understand what the fuck is going on, but in the end everythings more messed up than before! I am so fed up with my "friends". I just don't want them in my life anymore!!! I want to live my own life here and just get rid of the shit I did in past. God, I escaped from Estonia and the bullshit keeps coming to me.

But yay! I just got great news from my mom! They will be visiting my aunt in the middle of September and they will be there for 5 days...so I will go to Andernach for the weekend and we will be allllllll together :)

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New ideas...

Well...yeah, I have some new ideas in my mind...because...yes, because! I will not write my thoughts here right now, I need some advice and help from my only friend here and then I can start planning. I still should think everything trough very well and be 100% sure in myself.

But until then I'm hoping that I will get paid before Saturday, so I could go to Reeperbahn with some girls!

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So...

...seriously, I have WAY TOO MUCH free time...I wish someone would visit me...today I kinda did nothing - *shocker*...later I went to downtown, met Tom and just chilled at his work place. Spent my last money and drank some beer :) Now he drove me home with his Mercedes and just going to watch "Drive" and yeah....On Saturday I'll probably meet some girls in Hamburg and I hope the night is going to be a BLAST. But yeah, take care.

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Happy

Yay

700ml vodka for 4,99€...and it wasn't even in discount.

Tunnel update : 30mm !

xoxo

Today

Haven't done a thing today to be honest...well, okay, I woke up  early and played with the kids for few hours...but after lunch they went to some town and I have been alone in the house the whole afternoon. Later I am probably going to drive with the car...yesterday I was driving on a highway 120km/h. A bit scary but I will get used to it. Gotta drive there for the next whole week.

I just hope I'm going out in the evening, because I am soooooo bored.

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Week has already passed...

When I arrived to Germany, then at first I was like really - really sad for leaving Estonia and family and friends, but now I am glad to be here! I loooove this town! And the shops here ♥ ♥ ♥ ! It's bigger than my homwtown, but it's like not too crowded and stuff. In the daytime, yeah, I gotta do stuff that's not really for me, but hey, I get paid for it! Kids go to bed so early, so basically from 7pm I have free time and I can do whatever I want. Yesterday I stayed out until 11pm and I felt like a 14-year old again, who has to let everyone know where I am, what am I doing and I gotta be home on decent time...but I just want to show the family that I am responsible and a caring person, tho I am not at all! :D

I introduced myself to a guy on the second day here. So this one day I was sitting at Tom's working place and we talked about tunnels and plugs. He asked me do I want to stretch them more and I was so convinced that I'm not going to do that in the future. Then the next day I couldn't stop thinking about it :D So he bought me some oil and gave me larger tunnels. God, how I hate this uncomfortable feeling...in a week it will be gone. 

Some things that seem weird for me here: 

• ALL shops are closed on Sunday
• So many bike riders around here
• Car lights dont have to be turned on in the daytime
• Eating habits in this family

Today some lady came here with her two kids, so they are all playing together and stuff and I'm just chilling. God, I can't wait to get money, because I got so many things I need to buy...new hair extensions, bigger tunnels etc...white girl problems :c

xoxo

Gartenschau // Hamburg

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Germany

So, I have been in Germany since Thursday...I never ever want to fly with a plane again...never! I love my room here...private bathroom, TV, comfortable bed, kitchen...the town is nice, I really like it, more than Hamburg. Ahrensburg is more like my hometown...in Hmaburg there were way too many people and tourists. Yesterday I went shopping in Ahrensburg and I introduced myself to a random guy!! :D Well, I saw from far that he had tunnels and he was all dressed in black. He works at the local cafe and he said I can visit him anytime, because he's working there everyday.

To be honest, it was so good to talk with someone almost my age and in ENGLISH!!! I am soooo tired of German :D I would just like go out with someone or just troll around or something like that.

I have bought quite many things in two days:

• ring
• 3 pairs of leggings
• shoes
• 2 shirts
• leg braclet, but I wear it as a usual braclet
• scraf with PLUS signs :@ I thought they were crosses
• necklace
• underwear
• shampoos, toothbrush, nailpolishes etc.

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Final and the most random party night in Rakvere

So yesterday was just another boring day at first! I went to the town with my ma and later to the countryside...so I was chillin' at home, doing nothing...when suddenly Verner called me at 11pm...so I took off to his place. When I arrived there an hour later, they were playin' our favorite drinking game - bus driver. There were 7 of us.  Okay, so Verners girlfriend appeared there and of course they were fighting and then Verner came to us, said it's the last turn we play and that we would clean up a bit...and then he took his bag and took off. He left us in his yard...okay, so we all went to the gas station, bought cigarettes and food...we started walking to Silvers place...but two guys thought it would be awesome to swim in downtowns fountain...so they did it :D That was so fucked up...then a random guy from some car came to us and asked about the water, is it warm and so....okay, when they finally got dressed, we arrived to Silvers apartment...I have never been there soooo long...we played bus driver and I started drinking vodka. I have to admit, I was helllllllllla drunk...And in the end, Silver and Jew were sleeping...About 7 or 8 in the morning Karin went home, I and Ivari went playin' basketball and guess who won!!! :D I also saw Andreas and about 11am I realized, it's time to go home. I high-fived Ivari and sent Andreas to the bus station. Oh well...and then I slept until 10pm...

Right now I'm talking with Sandra, really gonna miss her....and my stupid phone is fucked up...I had 5 unanswered calls from Tanel and I'm so pissed off my phone didn't rang...now I am starting to get it...that I will be leavin' basically tomorrow...it's going to be my last day to meet people in Rakvere...but I really feel like I don't have anyone to say goodbye...and no one really wants to...some of the people I hang around didn't even know I was leaving...that makes me a bit sad.

At least I got a new bag before the trip! And I gave up my labret piercing...:'c

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Thoughts

I'm not scared that my friends will forget me or something like that...I'm more scared that they won't come to the airport to say goodbye to me...I am happy that I can finally leave, because I've been waiting for this kind of opportunity forever, to go somewhere new. I can start from a fresh page, no one knows my past and all the crap I've done and been trough. I just want to see, who actually cares enough and bothers to write me a line or two to Facebook or Skype. 

Tomorrow my auntie is going back to Germany and I will leave on Thursday.

I should put some new music on my SD-card.

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Last weekend in Estonia!

Since I'm leavin' Estonia in a few days, I've decided to start writing in English. Firstly, I think I am pretty good speaking English...but well, writing...:D Secondly, I have noticed that people from other countries visit my blog, so yeah.

Anyways, it was my last weekend in Estonia. Me, Jaana and Tõnis went to Võsu. We met there Anett and Marianne. We were chilling at the beach and in front of a...pub? cafe? (whatever you want to call it) Ukulele.  And well, I was shitfaced. And not fun shitfaced...I were sooooo tired, I just wanted to lay down. So, I went to Jaana's car and sat there for about 30min? I started to feel okay...but then everyone came in the car and we drove off to Rakvere. Some couple was fighting in Võsu, the guy was yelling at the girl badly for cheating him with his friend and the girl was "I LIKE YOU SO MUCH" blablabla. Like, fuck you bitch. And to be honest...I'm a bit sad, because I didn't have so much fun as I hoped...:(

I've been writing with two dutch guys in WhatsApp for several days and I am really starting to think...have I made the right decision? I want to go to Netherlands so bad, it seems that they are just soooooooo much friendlier and stuff. Well, whatever, whatever, at least I get to leave Estonia! I've got my things alllllll packed already. Three days more, can you belive it!!!???

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Hei

Viimasel ajal kirjutamine siia kuidagi üldse kohe ei lähe...ma ei viitsi nagu...vahepeal ikka miskit tehtud on...eile läksin Raini poole, polnud seda kutti sada aastat näinud. Tegime süüa, jõime veini ja vaatasime filmi. Kusjuures, olen hakanud Chattroulettis käima...ja seal saab valida, mis riigi inimestega tahad rääkida, valisin Hollandi ja Saksamaa....ja lihtsalt nagu, hollandlased on nii lahedad. Kahega kirjutan WhatsAppis igapäev ja nii. Nad on kohe nagu palju sõbralikud ja juba see, et kui eestlane jätab vestluses hüvasti, siis on tavaline tsau või nii aga nemad on kohe kallid ja musid ja südame jne. Soe tunne tekib nh. 

Aga ok, Karli varsti siia ja ma tulin just pesust ja istun siin rätikutes.....mu viimane nädalavahetus Eestis...kas minna Võsule või no life'ida Karliga terve õhtu/öö???

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Yo

Terve päev mõtlesin, mida siia kirjutada. Pole mitte midagi viimastel päevadel teinud...no, ikka väljas käinud ja nii aga...selline mõttetu passimise tunne on koguaeg. Aga seda ma tegelikult teinud olengi. Magan vahel poole päevani, täna näiteks ema äratas mind pool neli pärastlõunal. Ta küsis, kas ma olen haige :D

Homme läheb pere Lõuna-Eestisse, mina jään koju. Ega minult keegi ei küsinudki, kas ma tahaks minna, mind lihtsalt jäetakse koju. Homme läheb Tanel sõjaväkke ja siis jääb mul ka veel nädal aega Eestis olemist. Ikka vist ei jõua kohale veel...no, blogi viskab jah kuupäevaks juba 3.juuli...ehk siis kogu see jutt käib tänase kohta.

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