Aug 30, 2013

All about my hair!

Past years I have been struggling with my hair really bad. They don't grow as fast as I want them and they are uneven. When I was 14 I thought it's a good idea to have sidecuts on both sides. I didn't wanted to have a full moahawk, so that's why I had just random part shaved both sides. And ever since then, the sides have been shorter than all the other hair. Before coming to Germany I went to the hairdresser...Last time was 4years ago...So she cut my hair and it was quite okay. When I was already in Germany, then one day after shower I got so mad that the sides are short and I just took the scissors and cut my hair at least 10cm shorter. Now they are quite even, but still sides are a bit shorter. But only a bit. 

I've been wearing hair extensions..I guess for 4years...my first ones were black and synthetic. My hair on top was some random color and lower part was black. I always tried to make them look natural and place the clips correct, because I didn't wanted to be a failure who can't wear her extensions correctly. I have seen on some people how the clips are showing and the hair look really unnatural. 

So some purple and pee colored blonde and black lower part. (Never mind my eyebrows)


My second hair extensions were blonde and I bought them from a girl from my hometown. She had two sets and I got them for 3.20€. They were, again, synthetic, but I washed, straightened them and they looked kind of natural. At least most of the people used to tell me that they wouldn't ever guess my hair were fake. My third extensions were also clip-in and synthetic. They were blonde and longer. Nothing special. 

I was obsessed with Cruella hair, after all year being blonde, I finally colored half of my head dark brown and half blonde. I bought dark brown synthetic clip-in extensions for it. I could have used the black ones but I threw them away long time ago. And for these hair I had to cut my blonde extensions into suitable pieces. Later of course I wanted to be blonde again...and wear my extensions. It was a constant stuggle for few months, because I had so many different clips, in different lenghts...so I decided it's time to buy real hair clip-in extensions. 

It took me a while to order them because I am awful arranging with money, but finally I managed it. I ordered them from eBay.de, so I recived them overnight after the seller got my payment! If I would have ordered them from China, I should have waited up to 30days. 

That's how long my hair actually is.


And ta-daaa, my real hair extensions. They came as a 7-piece set. They're so soft, light but kind of tenuous. I could use a other set of them. Also, they are longer than my synthetic ones. Lower part of my hair is still dark brown and I wear my dark brown synthetic clip-ins there, even though they are shorter, but it's unnoticeable. My head feels so much lighter when half of the head is full of real hair extensions. At the moment my roots are quite outgrown, I used to be very bothered about it but one day I started liking it.  I am planning to dye my hair white/silver/grey, but I want to tone them, not bleach. I want the roots stay dark. Weird, but I kind of want them to grow out, so I could have the ombre look. It's going to take a lot of time, we well see what happens. Maybe I will change my mind :)


Here's just some of the few pictures of my hair:


I actually had pink hair, they were great!


I don't usually dress like this, we had an event at school :D


After cruella hair I dyed my hair dark brown and left blond spots to both sides. My mom told me I look ugly with brown hair, so I dyed them back to blonde.


That's probably the whitest I've gotten my hair.


My first time dyeing the whole head. I was 13.


On this picture I am 14 and I dyed my hair black. -.-


I had purple hair for a while, but after washing my head three times, I was blonde again. 



On the lower picture I guess I am 16...I dyed my hair with one medicament. 



Here it's August 2009 and I am 15.




                                  Here I am wearing the 3.20€ hair extensions. January 2012


Summer 2012 / My real hair


And here's bunch of pictures me with my new extensions. You can see the lenght difference. They just are and hold naturally.




In conclusion, my hair have been every kind of color anyone could imagine. I've had orange hair, too, but couldn't find any pictures right now. Probably most of the people think that I have very damaged hair. Actually, they are quite thick, only some of the ends are split but overall they are fine. I will try to avoid hair dyes consisting amoniac. When I arrived to Germany, first thing I bought myself, was a heat protector...I'm using some random shampoos right now but I guess I'd buy something that actually suits for my hair. They get greasy so fast...that's a problem I will try to ger rid of.

Now this was one long post. Time for bed :) Good night.

xx

Aug 29, 2013

Package from Crazy-Factory and German Bank!

Today I had the joy to recive some packages again. My tunnels came from Crazy-Factory. Unbelivable how fast I recived them...I got a mail on friday that they are dispatched and today I already had them in my hand. Finally I have my German bank account. Now I don't have to wait for days to recive my payment :)


34mm...I can't wait to wear these bitcheeees!


32mm silicone tunnels...so I could get from 30mm -> 34mm. Wearing them at the moment, didn't have no problems putting them in. Tom was right with the jojoba oil. He told me to use it everyday and massage my ears...I guess thanks to it these pink ones went in easily. My jojoba oil is almost finished, I should buy a new one. And by the way, it's good for you skin and split hair ends!


Some silver and black piercing balls.


Well haha, I started writing this post 5pm and now it's 11pm...mixed emotions again, going to bed...fjnhgrjrewkef


love

Aug 27, 2013

Postcrossing & emotional state

Today I recived two postcards, a letter from my grandmother and fake eyelashes! If my day is pointless and I am a bit sad, then I'm so happy to recive something. Yesterday I got my package from everything5pounds and also a postcard. Last weekend I got a postcard from Perth, Australia. Awesome! So far I've recived six postcards, two of them are in Estonia. My favorite is this one:


I'm not an Angry Bird fan or anything but this is just supercute!!! Pink birdie with a cupcake and a milkshake. 

Reading my grandmothers letter I instantly teared up. I feel so sorry for her, most of the time she's alone in a big house and I used to go there so often when I was a kid. When I was my sister's age, I was there all summer long. Grandma wrote that she hasn't gone there this year not even once. It breaks my heart because she's so lonely there...far away from all of us, on the island. I will definitely write her back.

Lately I've been struggeling again....having so many thoughts in my head, I feel I am wasting my time here. It's not what I wanted. Life is easy but I don't want to have an easy life. Jaana sent me her university's timetable today and I would go to school if I only could. One day I was walking home and I thought "man, how I'd like to be still in high-school". I would gladly go to a history class...or math...I still have no idea what to study, who to become, where to go...I wish I was ten again...

xx

Aug 26, 2013

Package from everything5pounds!


On Thursday I recived an e-mail that my package has been dispatched from UK and I got it already today! Very pleased. So, here's what I ordered...













♥ hugs 

Aug 24, 2013

Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirls niiiiiiiiiiiight in Hamburg! (v.5)

Yesterday I arrived to Hamburg before 4pm. I had to get to Mariels house, I even bought myself some credit for my phone card but ofcourse I didn't knew how to manage with it :) So I was standing in Hauptbahnhof,  all confused. Thank God she called me. Finally I managed to get to her house, she made me some spicy dinner, we got ready and went to downtown. At first we were just walking around, next to the river, it was beautiful!!! We were looking for a bar and one guy suddenly comes to us and starts saying weird stuff. He wasn't rude or anything but he shaked my hand, said that he find me beautiful and when I talk then my nose moves a bit and I remind him Bugs Bunny :D Whatever, we got away from him because it was awkward. He was like in his twenties, but unfortunately he wasn't my type, otherwise I would have been hyped. We finally found a bar what Mariel was searching. It was a nice place, we sat outside and drank some yummi beer. There was this rude ass grandpa with his two bitches and he was taking pictures of us!!! Like what the hell and more than one! When we left I rammed into his chair hardcore. Fuck you

Our next stop was Reeperbahn. I have started to dislike that place...but we had  a lot of fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!! Visiting bars and buying drinks from all the bars (bad idea). There's this bar wheres everything 0,99€. I was walking towards the door and I feel one guy putting his finger trough my tunnel :@ I told him in german PLEASE DONT DO IT and we started talking, he was a cool guy. Mariel hooked up with his friend :D I've been wanting to become friends with some whos actually from Germany, so finnaly! That guy is like seriously good looking, but I didn't try to do anything, I just wanted to chat and be friendly. 

Everytime I have good time, I don't check the time. And on that evening when I checked my phone, it was 11.50pm or so. And the next time I did it.....it was alreayd 6am!!! :D Hella nice time. Although in the subway there was this turkish guy, who was mocking us and like making fun of us. And I just stood up and asked him does he wants to get beat up. I babbld something in english, I was like seriously mad, I was in his face and so close to hit him with a fist. But Mariel and some other people came and were holding me back. Like seriously people from the subway just came and hold me. And it's crazy because I'm not even sure what the turkish guy said, but he was rude for sure. People saw a possible fight and they stepped in. I don't even know what happened with me, why did I act like that...I wasn't that drunk but I just got so tired people mocking us because we are talking in english...it's not your business to listen to us at all! Oh well...

So now I'm still at Mariel's house, writing this aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I spent soooooo much money yesterday. Now we gonna eat and I will go home...ugh, I don't even want to.

And Mariels been to warped tour :S she has seen From First to Last and all the other cool bands. Jelly.









kisses

Aug 21, 2013

Nail update & blabla // Wishlist


Najaa, bought myself a new nail polish and tried it out right away. It's not white tho, more like extra light pink. The nail polishes structure is shit, impossible to get it even on nails :S Also, I got myself a bronzer and some foundation thingy, glue for nails, new hairbrush and hair clips. I feel really bad right now, like I wanna puke but I haven't ate since 11am and my head aches.....like it's so heavy right now. Gonna watch a movie and then probably fall asleep.

Watched an amazing movie today - Speak (2004). Loved it. In the end I was so heartbroken, like what if that happen to my daughter or son??? I'd be just devastated.

Uhm, and I am a pretty happy gal in some reasons. People make me indescribably sad and the same time some of them can make me so happy, it feels like heaven is on earth :) I'm kind of afraid to write everything here because you never know who reads this, you know. Aaaand, the second reason is - I will be reciving so many packages in the next few weeks! I ordered bunch of stuff from everything5pounds, crazy-factory, hair extensions from eBay and eyelashes from kleiderkreisel, woop-woop. I'm going to recive soooo many beautiful things :') Now I got some presents for my mother and sister, too, when we see each other in September. Now I have this small and cute tattoo idea in my mind, I just hope I will find someone who would fulfil my little wish. 

♥ WISHTLIST ♥

♥  heart-shaped sunglasses
♥ pink/purple hair dye 
♥ comfy sweatshirt
♥ cap


xoxo

Aug 20, 2013

Finally!

I got a bigger paycheck than I was waiting for....and I bought MY HAIR EXTENSIOOOOOONSSSSSSSSS!!! If everything goes well then they will be mine already on friday :3 And for friday I have so nice plans with Mariel! We are going shopping, then we're going to visit this Mexican place, have a nice dinner and then I'm going to meet this one guy and I will spend the night at Mariela's place :))) She's alone the whole weekend, so the house is empty! I'm so excited! Everything sounds just so nice, but we will see what the evening brings ;) I should buy traintickets to my aunt's place ASAP, otherwise I spend the money...Probably I will do it today. Also, I ordered myself fake eyelashes yesterday. I don't know what am I going to do with five pairs of eyelashes...:D



XX

Aug 16, 2013

Hands up


Just really really really tryin' to keep it real and just be nice to people

xx

Aug 13, 2013

Today...

...has been quite okay. I look like a muslim woman with that scarf but I really try not to wash my hair everyday...don't remember when I dyed them but it has been a while now...just trying to restore their health before I go to Andernach...I will buy the train tickets there with my next payment and I really don't know when will come the sacred day when I can finally purchase my hair extensions.

So, I just sent a postcard to America, Germany, Estonia and Netherlands. I got to the mailbox just when the mailman was emptying it, phew! 

There's just so many emotions in me right now I just swejmmjkgkesool what...is this, I don't even......fjgdjfdf


kisses



Aug 12, 2013

What is this

I feel like I am seriously doing nothing, like I AM nothing. I am just not sure how to make myself feel alive. I've been going out now but I got tired of it. Always the same - drinking, dacing, hangover. I haven't talk to any germans while partying. To find german friends - that was the reason why I went out in the first place. I had a mental breakdown last weekend and I don't want to party anymore. I just don't know how people are satisfied with themselves...I mean...they find something that means a lot to them, right? An activity, a person or something else. I just don't know what that IT is for me. Well, I might know but it's surreal. 

God, I hate my emo-periods...just makes me want to slit my wrists and then few days later I'm all full of life and think what the hell was wrong me. I despise depressed people but now and then I turn into that kind pf person, too. I try and tend to keep it hidden from others, I really don't tell anyone about it. Because I know it goes away! Right now I'm pretty sure the emo-me is going to stay for a longer time than usually. I don't want to exhaust those few people I still communicate with this confusion I am going trough. In Estonia I had always people to get drunk with, forget all the crap for a night and repeat, repeat, repeat until I was just fatigued from all the drinking. Then I turned into a person again. Fuck

AT LEAST - it's been over two years and I still feel like a little stupid girl when he writes me...even if it's some random line or a word. I thought I would be all over it (him) but I guess there's always going to be someone mysterious I try to figure out. Some of them turn out to be boring people actually, others maintain my intrest in them.

Oh by the way, I went to Hamburg again on Saturday. Nothing special happened. Here's a picture of me and Mariel.




xoxo